Fear And Risk (7 March 2005)

Here’s a rhetorical question for you: How do you feel aboutasking all the members in your network for an endorsement – all at once?

Aside from matters of etiquette, what comes to mind? Excitement about hearing praise for your name and your work and what your relationship has meant to each other? Or do you have images of fear that too many rejections will come interspersed with the praise you so deeply, deeply want to hear?

Suppose someone says, “No, I can’t/won’t endorse you.” - what then?

Do you concentrate on feeling dejected because they said “No”? (And their “no” is not an isolated “no” – it just so happens that you got 10 “no’s” earlier in the same day.)

Or do you realize what “No” is all about?

While it’s true that “No’s” are uncomfortable and depending upon the way it’s said to you, it can even be downright painful, taking your “no” is NOT all bad!

Because I’ve learned this: “No” is all about clarification.

“No” clarifies the true state of your relationship.

And because “no” is an integral part of our real livesit’s also about your real world education.

When you ask people ANYTHING with a closed end question, you risk getting “no” 50% of the time.

But let’s not be afraid of “no”.

“No” can be looked at as the big bad boogeyman of businessbut it’s really a vital part of your business education. It helps to clarify that you have more work to do in a particular relationship. It helps you to know the truth about what relational assets you currently have. And, at a deeper level, it sheds light on the inner workings of the person who’s been kind enough to give you that illuminating response of “no”.

“No” is like going to the ATM to withdraw cash that youhaven’t put in. – A “No” in a relationship simply says,“You’ve got to put more in to this PARTICULAR BANK ACCOUNT before you can get out what you want.”

And do remember: The ATM isn’t rejecting you, it’s rejectingyour request – at this time. Just put something in and come back later.

So, the next time you hear it, remember, the big bad “No”doesn’t end your world - it clarifies your world.
Therefore, my advice for you today is to reduce the control fear has over you today and greatly, greatly, greatly increase your asking power as you go on your way to greater prosperity whether you receive a “yes” or a “no”.

If you're still uncertain about releasing yourself from the impoverishing "no", just repeat to yourself that you are doing this in "B.E.T.A" mode: Brave Enough To Ask!

So, Ask, Seek, Knock!

Ask your way to greater wealth and happiness.

Your Linkedin Partner,
Vincent Wright
"What good is motivation you can't remember?"
7 March 2005